This strange relationship between the power of doing nothing and my own balance

This morning I got up with a strange feeling. I felt I had lost my balance, my stability, my strength, my inner peace and maybe my north star. All I wanted was doing nothing, what this is essence of finding my balance again?

Just like every other morning, I started off with my meditation using Headspace, an mediation app, and today’s topic was about resistance. What was I resisting?

  • Myself?
  • My own life?
  • The way my life was going?
  • The path my life was taking?

Many questions, yet I did not have the answers.

Gosh, this was a lot for a early morning start, what a heavy topic and where was this going to take me? Since  I quite (a lot of) of my former life, I had a strong feeling that I have been mastering letting go and reaching a kind of serenity quite well – and yet – this morning I was feeling instability, unsteadiness, floating somewhere around in space.

Where was this coming from? Did something happen over the last days to trigger that feeling?  let’s have a quick review

  • I had a call with my mum last night, which could have affected my feelings. She mentioned her family (which I am part of obviously! ) in such a way that I felt excluded from it and the sentence she had been saying was still running around in my head.
  • Then I saw some friends from my past life, who I was happy to meet up with and yet I realized later that perhaps it was not the best thing to do, as I noticed that I am still recovering from my former life.
  • I also knew that I had to take a decision regarding my next step in my professional life and still I felt that I was missing some important data points.
I felt so dizzy!

All combined just simply made me feel dizzy, unsteady and shaky. I was standing at a crossroad and I had to decide either go further or surrender totally or ?? I simply did not know, what was behind these questions? how could I further discover what I needed so I could find my balance, and get my serenity back. I knew deep down that I could only rely on myself to find my balance again.

So as I often do, I went to Google and searched “find my balance” and this how I came across the following article A simple tool for balance by Master Mikel Steenrod, one of 11 living lineage holders of the 4 Ascendant Sphere Purity Adept School of the Tao – a 1,500 year old mystery school tradition. Impressive right?

Reading through this article just confirmed me that first of all I – or rather my way of thinking- was the cause or the origin of my imbalance, and second if I wanted to find my balance again, I simply needed to do nothing and start looking at things differently.

  • What did my mum really want to say when she referred to her family and made me feel as being excluded? what is actually important here? I am not sure! After all it was her phrase. So I have decided to forget about that sentence and I sent it mentally back to my mum.
  • I also realized that I had some expectations around meeting friends from my former life which obviously were not met. Again it was my way of seeing the whole situation, so also here I decided to let go off these expectations and just accepted the meeting as a nice, kind yet superficial reunion.
  • About my next career steps and the missing information, here I also decided it is up to me to get in touch with my inner self and first probe what I do want and then get the information I need to make the right decision.
  • Finally I also try to transform any of my negative thoughts into a positive one, which allows me to move on in a joyful way.

So by not being judgmental, by sending back the things which did not belong to me, by re-framing my expectations (or even letting go of my expectations) and also, at the same time, by stepping up for myself when and where it was needed – I helped myself to get my balance back.

This very fine line of balance, serenity, happiness, inner peace can very easily be chopped off. Yet with the right awareness, the subtle art of letting go or stepping up for yourself and putting a positive lens, I do manage day after day to put myself back on the roach to finding myself.

How do you experience imbalance?
How do you get your balance back?

Be curious, be courageous, be bold and be yourself

 

 

 

 

 

4 Replies to “This strange relationship between the power of doing nothing and my own balance”

  1. Meine liebe Brigitte

    Ich bin nun eingetaucht in all Deine so wunderbaren, ehrlichen und bewegenden Berichte und habe die Welt um mich herum vollkommen vergessen. Du bist eine wahre Schriftstellerin, kannst Menschen mit Worten berühren, fesseln. Eigentlich sind wir das alle, wenn wir denn nur ehrlich von unserem wunderbaren Leben so offen und frei erzählen würden. Jeder denkt, sein eigenes Leben sei nicht interessant. Und doch sind es immer wieder diese authentischen Geschichten, die fesseln und worin wir vieles Lernen können. Egal, wie dieses Leben ist.
    Was für eine tolle Frau Du bist!!!!
    Du gehst spannende Wege in Deinem Leben, immer ein Stück näher zu Dir selbst. Bewundernswert.
    All Deine Berichte sind jeder für sich herzergreifend.
    Ja, das Leben flüstert uns alles. Wir müssen nur die Augen und die Ohren öffnen. Ich sehe und höre, was mir geflüstert wird – denke ich – ziemlich gut. Ich bin sehr offen für diese Zeichen. Aber ich bin ohnmächtig zu erkennen, welcher Weg der richtige ist für mich. Ich weiss es einfach schlichtweg nicht. Ich versuche, ehrlich zu mir selbst zu sein, mich für einen steinigen und angstmachenden Weg zu entscheiden. Und dann bin ich wieder unsicher, ob es tatsächlich dieser Weg sein muss. Ein ewiges Hin und Her.

    Vielleicht können wir uns privat wieder mal treffen? Vielleicht darf ich Dir mal aus meinem Leben erzählen? Du bist sehr intuitiv. Deine Meinung wäre mir sehr wertvoll. Wenn Du einverstanden wärst, würde mich das sehr freuen…. spontan, bei einem Znacht, oder auch einfach so, bei Dir, bei mir? Du darfst aber auch sagen, wenn Du das nicht möchtest. Du bleibst eine wunderbare Frau.

    Ich grüsse Dich ganz lieb aus Deiner Heimat.
    Schau gut zu Dir.
    Rita Vonwil

    1. Liebe Rita
      Wow! ich bin überwältigt von deinem Kommentar, Danke Dir ganz ganz herzlichen für diese nette Worte, auch dass Du dir die Zeit genommen hast, alle meine Post zu lesen und mir so ein ausführliches Feedback zu schreiben.
      Sehr sehr gerne können wir uns privat wieder mal treffen, und dann bin ich auf deine Geschichte gespannt. Jeder von uns hat eine spannende Lebensgeschichte, und der Weg auf dem wir gehen kann nicht unterschiedlich sein, doch ich bin überzeugt, wenn wir im Hier und Jetzt leben so ist der Weg, den wir gerade gehen, den richtigen. Vertraue deinem Bauchgefühl!
      Lieber gruss
      Brigitte

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